My favorite homos in the whole wide world
Live on opposite ends of the Atlantic ocean
I'll take half the credit for choreographing
Confessions laid out over Skype

And their love's so beautiful
I puke rainbows all over the place
They're both so adorable
I wanna shove them in a closet and make them suck face

'Cause they make me forget that I'm just a waste of space
My track record haunting me, I hear her taunting me,
"You were searching for a fake ideal."
But that doesn't matter, 'cause I know how you
Feel for each other, the best pair of lovers
Kept safe with fur and with steel
You're my favorite homos in the world because you're real

My favorite lesbos in the whole wide world
Sometimes shot gun in front of me to get my hopes up
They live out in Reno and when I go visit them
I don't feel like I'm the third wheel

And their love's so beautiful
I could stab myself with a blunt knife
The years they've spend with each other
The Mrs. and Mrs., the ampersand wives

Make me forget my sorry excuse of a love life
The track record haunting me, all of them taunting me
"Your head's your Achilles' heel"
But that doesn't matter, 'cause I know how you
Feel for each other, the best pair of lovers
I've seen since Jensen and Danneel
You're my favorite lesbos in the world because you're real

You're the Billy and Teddy
The Isaac and Danny
You're Natasha and Clint
Disgusting like Scallison
Kinky like Sterek and
I swear to Chuck you're all heaven sent
To make me feel so good about myself

'Cause you remind me that I'm
More than a sack of skin and muscle and fat and bone
It's okay, I'll be okay, you're still my friends and I'm never alone
And love is always a many splendored thing that I can feel
You're my favorite homos in the whole wide world because you're real