Not Your Scott McCall

by saintdoriangray

supported by
/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

      name your price

     

1.
01:45
2.
02:50
3.
4.
02:32
5.
02:02

about

and i was never your allison argent, either, was i. i'm so disgustingly dramatic. somebody stop me.

credits

released March 10, 2013

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

saintdoriangray Berkeley, California

i wrote about things that aren't mine--tv shows, books, people.

contact / help

Contact saintdoriangray

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Track Name: First
I don't care how good you make me feel In the hours of the morning when
I should be asleep
I don't care how bad, how sorry I'll be. My life is boring and
I'm content to be so unattached,
So unattached to the way you make me feel so safe, so loved.

Chorus
You got your whole life ahead of you, we're still so young
Your heart feels so familiar, like I've known you forever
My friends have all been joking that you might be the one
But I'm done asking for my heart to ache and burst
So let me leave you first

I can't take how much I really don't want to start up a
Relationship with you
I can't tell you how much I wanna drown at the bottom of the ocean where
All is big and blue, just like my body and
My head spins so dizzy when you tell me that I'm loved

Chorus
Track Name: Stupid Brave
Chorus
You make me wanna do everything, everything
I could be a hero
And I know I could do anything, anything
I could rule the world
You make me the worst of all kinds of brave (It's delusional that)
Maybe I could save you (Or lose it all)
Maybe I could get a happy ending

I could shoot a villain down one handed
Save some crash survivors stranded
For a week on some lonely island
I could hold you while you're paralyzed
For hours straight and not get tired
Take a fascist government tyrant

I could trust you on my best day
Hope that trust goes both ways
I'm cool with you, if you're good with me

Chorus

I could've jumped off the seventh floor
And landed perfect on all fours
And still be down to run with you after
I could've sung my heart out on a stage
And got over my damn road rage
And I could've died from laughter

'Cause you steal all my oxygen
And you don't give it back, but then
I'm cool with it if you're good with me

Chorus

But these words aren't enough to keep you happy
Gold Star, I tried
Track Name: Distance is Butts!
I'm having a good day and all I wanna do is talk and talk and talk and talk
And treat you the right way, with flowers and kisses--but the Internet's a cockblock
It's not the same without you next to me
We can't win if there's no skin to touch in puppy love frenzy

I can't close this physical distance
I suppose I could wait till Christmas
It plagues me how text is all I have
And these words aren't enough to keep you happy
And I don't know how to not be scared

I'm having a bad day and all I wanna do is curl up in my bed and
Listen to your voice, babe, but I only hear you in my headphones
I try to keep it quiet but I'm loud and I'm obnoxious
I might've tried to lie but I promised to be honest

I can't grow wings to get closer
I can't hope these roller coaster
Feelings will get easier to deal with
And these words aren't enough to keep you happy
And I don't know how to not be scared

I don't know how I could handle
I can't throw this chance to get strangled
By my own thoughts and insecurities
And I'm scared I'm not enough to keep you happy
And I'm scared everything will finally fall apart
And I need someone to just come up and slap me
And tell me I'm insecure, it's just my fickle heart

I'm having a good day and all I wanna do is spend it with you, spend it with you.
Track Name: Be Ok
Don't fear the dark, or the heart break love
Just breathe and tell it to me straight
Don't fear the grace, my face is calm
I've been sitting here all day, waiting, waiting
I knew this was coming soon

Chorus
Don't lie and don't sugarcoat
I know I went overboard
But you made me feel the worst kinds of brave
Don't worry it's not your fault
I'm just not your Scott McCall
And I promise that we'll be ok.
But right now, I need you to be happy

Don't fear my rage, my cage is strong
My temper's in control
I can't tell, this hell is feeling
Like you've lost us both, falling, falling
For the relationship instead of you.

Chorus

And I stopped cold dead on my feet and it
Still hurt, tore off the meat on my
Bones and my ribs dropped down into stomach
And my fists clenched, but I didn't cry
No tears shed, but damned if I tried
To feel something other than,
"You saw this coming the moment you started."

Chorus
Track Name: Last
I don't care how good you made me feel in the hours of the morning when
I was supposed to sleep
I forgot how bad, how sorry I'd be. My life was boring, but
I forgot to be so unattached
So, unattached to the way you made me feel so safe, so loved

Chorus
You got your whole life ahead of you, we're still so young
My brain is flashing danger, but I won't dare estrange you
For all I haven't lost, I don't feel like I've won
But I'm done forcing my heart to beat so fast
We couldn't make it last.

I can't take how much I really wanted a
Relationship with you
I can't tell you how much I'm sorry that I drowned you in my ocean where
I was feeling blue and red and purple
In the end I'm still dizzy when I recall how I was loved

Chorus