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Fandomtastic 3

by saintdoriangray

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1.
Scott, buddy I need your help 'cause Jackson's laughing at me and the betas kicked us out And Scott, buddy, please answer your phone 'Cause Derek's in ultra-creeper mode And oh God, he's tryna be besties with Dad And oh God, he's using the front door is he mad? Oh My God, am I in trouble now? There's no reason that he's leavin' Dead animals on my window sill He ain't Batman, I ain't Gotham Needing watching all night in Beacon Hills There's no logic to this project of his slamming me against my will Onto a wall, the floor, My baby jeep's door Unless---Oh God, Scott just call me back. Please. Those aren't your biceps all up in my grill trying to cuddle me close Those aren't your rock hard abs against my--whoa buddy slow down Derek, let me go now It could be sex pollen or strain of wolfsbane Derek can you back away, 'cause you is ackin' cray cray It could be witches or hexbags or Argents or Alpha packs tryna make you into that There's no basis for my spaces Being drenched in eau de Derek Hale There's no excuse for this loose canon helping dad run errands at the jail But there's nothing cuter than him tutoring me Making sure that I don't fail Chemistry or English Oh god I have a fetish For danger (and for Derek). Shit. Scott, buddy I need your help 'cause I'm getting major boners from the things that make him feral Scott, buddy please answer for your phone Before I do something stupid Like give it up to cupid But my boner's only human... I'm not lying or denying whatever it is he wants from me He's so hot, I'm so not so excuse me if it's hard to believe He wants my pants off, with the chance that I won't ever make him leave My floor, my bed If it all goes unsaid that Derek's got my pants down Tight lips sealed in a frown And maybe I'll shut up now
2.
Stay With Me 02:56
I could watch you create your own one-sided two person conversation you try to engage me, but all I could muster is hesitation I'm sorry if stutters and silences come off as condemnation I can’t leave you feeling all alone So tell me should I stay or should I go? I could love you better on a bigger bed Damn myself to beg you to take all your meds And love me high, we’ll fly and leave my love unsaid Unconscious, all this just to tell you— I could watch as the heart on your sleeve doubles tempo from medication I know you'd give anything, begging to feel any mad sensation Resentment won't get you escape in the wake of induced sedation I can’t leave this feeling all alone I think I'd rather stay, than let you go. I could love you better than the world at large Damn myself to beg you to keep off the drugs And love me sober and keep you in my arms While you’re conscious, all this just to tell you To stay (with me).
3.
Rusted and Worn, Driver's seat torn patched up and sewn again. Bang up the door, survive the next war next two or three or ten. Through war cries and peace times, I still remain Through white lies and goodbyes, I'm still the same old Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue Will be there all your life For your mother, your boyfriend, your best friend's old wife Always, for you, little red riding hood Engine's replaced, you just changed the brakes I make you go, you make me stop Go through days, passed in a haze A maze of the choices we've dropped Through werewolves and first loves, through stalling in the rain Through death and new chances, I'm still the same old Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue For when your life breaks down But I know your Jeep won't, and that's all that counts Always, for you, little red riding hood
4.
Alpha 03:30
All the things I kept from you six years back Finally caught up to you Told you not to split up but as I slept You turned tail and who Gave you the right to hide your own brother From demons he'd set loose Oh, Laura, I know. I'm the Alpha now: All your problems are on me Back in my old hometown, my responsibility But I'll dig up the ground filled with your body and wolfsbane and twine Oh, sister of mine It's like looking back into a mirror Of me six years ago Y'know you can't keep her, love any deeper Death reaps what it sows She's your Juliet, you're her Romeo we know how that goes Oh, Scott, yes, I know. I'm the Alpha now: If you don't use the bite, it'll use you at will It's our nature to howl, just like it's nature you'll hurt and you'll kill I can't help that we're bound, bonded in blood and in species and kind Oh, brother of mine I'll rip your throat out, I'll claw your lungs out If you don't shut up I don't know how to say in words that I Hope you don't mind my touch Just don't wake up when I watch over you I'm starting to care too much Oh, Stiles, yes, I know I'm the Alpha now: I need a human and you need a pack You can cut off my arm but I don't trust you to cover my back Just don't make a sound, not a word or a moan or a whine Oh, lover of mine All the times we'd make out, lover, in the woods and I'd get you undressed All the times we'd hang out, brother, and I'd save you from that stupid mess When we ran for each other, sister, I know it's your time to rest I know that I'm blessed
5.
I might've been in love with you since the third grade but it hasn't deterred me yet You're not in much luck if you think it might have faded I've got a ten year plan It involves a lot of running around Watching you and Jackson make up And break up and make-up all over again Chorus I'll take all the love I can get 147 pounds of sarcasm and wit can only get me so far The mileage racks up in my car And in my heart I'll take all the love that you scrap I'll keep it for myself until you want it back Reimbursed to you ten fold The interest killed whatever goals I had scored beforehand I might've bought flowers for you every day While you were in the hospital You've made a huge dent in my pay And I don't even have a job But I'm glad to have given those gifts 'Cause you're the bestest gift of all I just wish you'd remember my name Chorus And if a new guy comes my way And shoves a steering wheel into my face And I happen to get a chub And I happen to want to rub My tongue over his washboard Abs and biceps and lats and calves And glutes and triceps and traps I promise I'll still love you best It's just that his face is pressed Into my pants I take all the love I can get 147 pounds of sarcasm and wit Is lucky to get this far Without a broken heart Or a broken car I'll take all the love that you scrap I'll keep it for myself until you want it back Hope you want it back sometime soon I've got a date in the afternoon With a werewolf who could love me.
6.
You wake up and you run through your routine and then come back it's night again They put you in a jacket and sedate you till you don't know what's right It's useless to keep trying to get out because you're too tired to fight them can't roll with these punches, have a hunch that I make friends with the kindest sinners Chorus Outrun the ghosts you love the most take the out the danger that you drilled into my head Outrun your friends Stay to the end Hold to a stranger seeing people who are dead Outrun your meds and Outrun your ghosts Run away from heart attacks and make your way, escape to the street now I'll take you far away so you won't have to witness none of the beat down 'Cause the doctors diagnosed the damage dammit but that's the wrong pill count And we can't outfox the foxes, but we sure as hell can look out and Chorus and Outrun your ghosts
7.
You wake up and you run through your routine and then come back it’s night again They put you in a jacket and sedate you till you don’t know what’s right It’s useless to keep trying to get out because you’re too tired to fight them can’t roll with these punches, have a hunch that I make friends with the kindest sinners Chorus Outrun the ghosts you love the most take the out the danger that you drilled into my head Outrun your friends Stay to the end Hold to a stranger seeing people who are dead Outrun your meds and Outrun your ghosts Run away from heart attacks and make your way, escape to the street now I’ll take you far away so you won’t have to witness none of the beat down ‘Cause the doctors diagnosed the damage dammit but that’s the wrong pill count And we can’t outfox the foxes, but we sure as hell can look out and Chorus and Outrun your ghosts
8.
Would you love me if I were skinny as a stick? If my cup size was bigger or if I had a dick? Would you love me if I said I didn't know how? Would you love me if I were closer to your heart? If every week night I wasn't falling apart So would you love me if I said I didn't know how? I'm sorry I'm a nut job playing at eccentric Billionaire, playgirl, genius, philanthropist But crazy works both ways as far as I'm concerned I think that I could love you, if only I couldn't get burned Would you love me if I won all my awards If I learned to play piano, if I memorized these chords Would you love me if I said I didn't know how? Would you love me if I absolved you of your sins If I prayed a Hail Mary hiding my cheshire grin? Would you love me if I said I didn't know how? I'm sorry I'm a whack job, all this never happened I wasn't naked in the woods, my eyes were never blackened But crazy works both ways if we're both involved I think that I could love you if we both get our shit resolved We're both pretty dramatic, bleeding blue While the rest of the world bleeds red (I would bleed so blue with you) But I get so ecstatic, when I hear you're just fine Yes, you're coping with your problems well and I'm still rehab Would you love me if I were prettier than you If I were skinnier than you, if I was wittier than you If I were better? But the the truth is I don't know how. Would you love me, could you love me now? I sound better when I'm starving, cause then I'll sing the blues You look better with your heartache. Go on, sit down, kick off your shoes We'll be nut jobs, whack jobs, crazy together I'm better crazy with you Would you love me if I were skinny as a stick If played on the ukulele a song that you'd picked? But the truth is, you can't love me And I can't love you now
9.
The Odyssey 03:10
If this Apocalypse would avalanche into a kiss, I might return To the endangerment of temperaments, I'd give a shit and then we'll learn I was wrong to ever want to leave you alone I was wrong to ever run away from my home And you'll always be a stronger beacon than the pull of the moon to my bones And I adore you And I need more of you And oh the things that I'll do to you when I go home Chorus We'll wreak hell together Yeah we'll wreck this hell together Your life might make mine better And I can't regret the fire In your spine and in my heart ache In my skin and in your heart break For the loves that we lost along the way Hale must your heart be and your tempered will Steady the wind blows, baby, keep still Keep quiet, keep yourself in the dark for now I wanna keep you safe, Little Red I wanna move with you in a bigger bed That we built with our own four hands in the years we spent bickering And I adore you And I need more of you And oh the shit that we'll get into when I'm finally home Chorus For the loves that we lost along The road so far is making me itch The need to scratch your back and make you tick To lick the salt off the wounds that I'd given you years before And I want so much more And I adore you And I need more of you And oh the shit we'll get up to when I go home Chorus And I adore you And I need more of you And oh the things I'll do with you when I'm finally home
10.
When you fall in love, it feels so good When you take me up, I know I shouldn't Dare to let myself get distracted from all The dangers I should have expected There is one thing I bet, that I can't forget But I know that we might regret it Never love a wild thing 'cause you'll only get hurt And these third degree burns Will just earn you a gold star you tried Never love a wild thing 'cause her dad might be pissed And the ways that she kissed Just ain't worth all the hits you're missing When you think that you could love her the best You're wrong and obsessed Do you think that she could take all the stress With your heart thumping out of your Chest, and all of the rest of your friends Are saying this is the worst idea Rest, and sleep there undressed and by yourself and pray your damn Ave Marias Never love a wild thing 'cause you'll get torn apart Arrows shot through your heart And the tips are all barbed and Never love a wild thing 'cause you won't ever heal All the wounds just won't seal You'll keep bleeding and feel everything And all the times you tried to fix it It got worse And yes you heard right You know you're cursed To love a wild thing Never love a wild thing 'cause your friends are all dead Or they're under the threat Of torture and pain, at least you tried Never love a wild thing 'cause you'll get your pack killed All the blood that you spilled It's your fault, Beacon Hills is dying
11.
If you could trust me to hold up your body You need me and I need you If you could tell me that you don't want me I'll leave you if that's the truth But it shouldn't be this complicated Get it all out of your system Chorus Trust the instinct, trust this feeling That we're not such a bad idea Trust the blinking beacons stealing All my attention problems away The focus of your bright red flashing eyes is always me Trust the human trusting the killer werewolf Didn't you save me from Isaac Lahey His first and rabid full moon You trust me with your betas, you trust me to stay up All night doing research for you And it really isn't that complicated So get me all out of your system Chorus And if you could trust me to warm up your body With mine, 'cause I'm yours to have
12.
They say if you're going through hell, then keep going But I'm not sure I can hold my breath as I fight to the surface My head aches, my heart pounds, my brain is exploding I am drowning and I don't know how This shit might wreck all the friends that I met and the Family I've lost and the ones that I've kept And no wolf in the pack can wash blood from my hands 'Cause they're dead and they're dying and I never wept for the Weight of the world pushing down on our shoulders The childhood you lost 'cause you sold all your souls for the Sake of your wolvlihood, I thought that we'd be good people but no, they were right when they told us that This might hurt They say that a little help goes a long way to Recovery, but this body count's gone past all ten fingers My house and my home are in two different places I am burning and I don't know how to stop this This shit might murder the lover I had It's a merciful killing but I'm up to bat If just one of your fangs made a dent in my mask Made of iron and willpower, spark and this blue flower Gift that I'd give in the Garden of Eden Right next to the shell of the house where your demons Take care of your sanity, changing like seasons They're listing and note-taking all of the reasons that This might hurt This might hurt us badly
13.
14.
Settle down in a big house In my home town, raise a boy scout With red hair as bright as his mother's Drive the Porsche with top down On the right side of the road now It's opposite day for the rest of my life She felt like a lover But lovers mean mating It felt less like dating to me I might regret that the last thing I said is to Give back your copy of the house key Nana, Nana goes the love song I sang to you wrong 'Cause nothing in life comes for free I'd repay you, eventually Settle down in a big town Where the noises tend to drown out The wrecked sobs that never happened Carry on with your head proud With your wolf calling out so loud And nobody cares you were captain It felt like forever But forever is over It feels just like closure to me I might regret that the last thing I said is to Give back your copy of the house key Nana, Nana goes the love song I sang to you wrong We'll both disagree But we'd make up, eventually Settle down lost underground Six feet or if I'm found Alive in the back of your head Keep me with all the wrong sounds At least until I am homebound And I am safe in your bed
15.
I fell in love with a lopsided boy with a funny name, and no sense of shame He broke my heart, and tore my veins Before he knew, I loved his brain If only I had listened better If I stayed invisible If only I had kept it together If running away was forgivable It's not your fault You tried, you tried It's not your fault I died, I died It's not your responsibility I ran away from the Only sort of family I had Sixteen never seemed so bad I fell in love with the call of the wild Toothy grin for a smile on the shell of a man He sunk his teeth, and made me bleed And took me in, and helped me breathe If only I had listened better If I stayed there with my pack If only I had kept it together If I hadn't panicked, turned my back Chorus As the weight of all the lives I've ruined Worried faces of the ones I knew And I'm sorry that I couldn't make it Happy that you didn't fight me, too So just kill me, keep me dead forever Let my body rest on the worm moon Decomposing, bruised and broken This is where I'm the best for you It's where I'm the best of you I was never the best of you I fell in love with a lopsided boy With a funny name, and no sense of shame He took my hand and helped me stand On my own feet, and we both ran Off to a life I hoped was better Where I lived to seventeen No regrets, with you just moments: Start and end and in between Tell my brother, tell my Alpha That I loved them both to death Tell my mother, tell my father I'm alive, I'm just in debt Chorus As the impossibility of seventeen
16.
Did I do something wrong? Did I sell you out? If I flinch, I promise, it's not your fault. Can you look my way? Can you tell me why? Without throwing glass, is this goodbye? It's okay to take a day or two to form your words I know it's your not stronghold, but we both know this hurts me more than you And if i break, let me break Chorus Let me crawl under covers And stay here forever I'll fall out from all of the Friends I should have never had Home is where I know I'm safe but the wind blows down All the bullet rounds I should have pressed to my chest God only knows, dad loved me best I hear your voice in the evening calling What do you wrong this time? You'll only get him madder Shut up and close your eyes It's not real, you don't feel anything So get back to your bed and pretend you can't think of the Love that he leaves upon your skin It tastes wine: bitter or better; the difference between seven and nine is a break in my bones it's my age back when Everything was perfectly fine. It's okay to take a week or two to calm your nerves I know it's not an option but we both know this hurts me more than you if I crash, let me crash Chorus It's the space where I learned to tremble It's not so bad in here; It's just a tiny fit like Coffins engraved with years I was good, it's a blank empty space If I fake freezer burn, I might learn not to hate the voice in the evening calling Did I do something wrong? Did I sell you out? Does way I look remind you It's not your fault? Can you look me way? Can you tell me why? Without throwing glass, Breaking last of our goodbyes? It's okay to take a month or two, if I deserve it I know it doesn't matter, but we both know this hurts me more than you If I scream, let me scream Let me crawl under covers And stay here forever I'll fall out from all of the Friends I should have never had If he keeps me waiting I'm done with you saving me from all of the love and your hero complex failing me 'cause Home is where I know I'm safe but the wind blows down All the bullet rounds I should have pressed to my chest God only knows, you love me best
17.
They call me up 'cause I'm a real sick Alpha I'm in your head and you can bet I'm underneath your skin It feels so good to be here; I want to be inside you right now I never Said I that I resembled such a golden apple I'm pretty rotten to the core, if you cut me in half I split in two, and I knew I'd split and I'd split you again And I was Set as an example of a perfect actor Confident though I'm on the fence If hating my own skin means that hating you after At least we'll both know you let me win I'm feeling like you're threatening to rip me up inside They call me up 'cause they know I make trouble We're double mint, double fresh we'll tumble In and out of your bed You beat me up because you know I like it You like it too but I won't ask or beg of you to stop And I was Pushing you for strength like you were pushing me faster Picking up the pieces you dropped Pushing me for love when you were baiting my anger Making up for all that we lost I'm feeling like you're threatening to swallow me alive They call us twins, but I call us addicted It's like a drug, it feels like bugs are crawling in my bones I don't remember what it's like to be alone Pathetic Desperation's better than my isolation I'd rather piss you off than miss you With me at my hips and lips Are screaming kisses Goodbye, haters, goodbye Playing house on fire never was my forte I didn't mean to let you get burned I'm sorry that I never told that you played me like board games Falling over and you got hurt I'm feeling like you're threatening to keep me.
18.
My love, you know I won't judge all your lies If you would come clean right now I know you love me But you don't trust me Will you risk me finding out? About the Way you're makin' whoopee with your brother Every Tuesday night, that's right I Saw you texting one after the other, but it's alright I'm a little down for whatever as long as you treat me right If I can't have you without him too I'll deal with it, if all I get is A little flustered. Hey, there buster My darling sunshine There is no line You haven't crossed with me today I know your secret Your deepest regret Will be keeping this shit at bay Cause' babe the Way you do the do-wop with your brother Every Sunday night, the gracious Lord ain't pleased Score! Cause that's another point for our lives Bucket this list, we're the next great scandal I'm Bonnie and you're Clyde If he's your better half Then I'm your perfect (w)hole. So stick it in, and scream YOU WIN My boyfriend scored a goal Baby, there are so many Worse things in the world The patriarchy, W. Bush And all the crazy girls Who want on your deezy It's not that they're sleazy It's just that you're (th)uper gay But I still love you anyway My darling, prince if You would insist/incest I would stick with you to the end I won't make fun of your conventional love It's complicated, you're frustrated And I'm still yours Not even fucking your brother would change my love for you.

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released January 8, 2013

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saintdoriangray Berkeley, California

i wrote about things that aren't mine--tv shows, books, people.

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